|Watercolor by Noemi Manalang|
The Crowne Plaza chain has just announced its new and highly unusual crusade against snoring, which it will roll out in 10 European and Asian hotels this year.
The chain is taking a multi-pronged attack. First up, will be rooms specially designed to minimize nocturnal sounds. Equipped with white noise machines and sound-muffling panels, the design of the rooms will help diminish any offending noises nasally blocked sleepers may make. Rooms will also have anti-snoring pillows which prop the head up in a fashion that opens up the airwaves and inhibits snoring.
But the chain isn't just stopping at noise within each room, they also will be protecting light sleepers against noisy neighbors. Crowne Plaza will be dedicating some areas of these 10 hotels as "quiet zones"which will be monitored by "Snore Patrols", staffers whose job it will be to roam through these areas, knocking on the doors of people whose snoring may offend their neighbors. (Okay, a sidenote here: even in this recession, you'd have to be pretty desperate--or a dedicated sadist--to want that job, dontcha think?) Those who are caught snoring will not be allowed to book these quiet zones in the future. They will be strictly for quiet, light sleepers.
What do you think? Will these new measures save marriages and enhance sleep? Is this all just a huge waste of money? Or, perhaps most pertinently, has Crowne Plaza pulled off a major marketing coup, thanks to all the press this anti-snoring crusade is getting?